My last post is bittersweet.  Little did I know that my visit to the vet with Sadie would be a premonition from my last blog post.  Last Tuesday my husband took Sadie to the vet to get to the bottom of what was causing some of the issues we were having with her.  Three months ago we brought home our new baby boy and thought that maybe some of the things she was doing were her way of acting out and showing us she was mad.  She was starting to pee anywhere and everywhere and poop anyplace she wanted.  We would find little poo's all over that she seemingly just left behind because she didn't care.  We thought maybe she had another bladder infection because she was peeing on anything she wanted, but there wasn't any blood like in the past.  Something wasn't right, but we just didn't know what. 

About a month ago I noticed she was starting to walk.. funny... Something was just off in her walk.  I would call it more of a waddle in the back.  Her tail didn't lay right.  She stopped jumping up on the couch, our lap, our bed, but she was still going up and down the stairs.  If she did jump up it would only be by her using her front claws to pull herself up.  I couldn't help but feel something wasn't right and that it was possibly also causing her to be peeing all over, but I couldn't figure out the pooping all over.. Our neighbor thought it was because she was mad at us.. but something just didn't seem right. 

My husband took her in on Tuesday and called to say they didn't realize he wanted to see the vet in the morning so they had her scheduled as a drop off.  I would need to pick her up that night.  I was hesitant because I like him to make the decisions on what tests they do and whatnot and I would need someone to watch the baby. 

My sister watched the baby and I took the cat carrier to get go Sadie just like I did last Spring.  When I the vet came in she was carrying her laptop with no Sadie to be seen.  In the past Sadie would be the first to come in and then maybe a folder or a vet tech, but never just a computer and no cat.  I figured this may not be good news.  The only thing I could say was "This isn't good news is it" to which I only received silence and a shake of the head. 

Our vet showed me Sadie's X-ray comparing her vertebrae to last years vertebrae.  One of them had a fuzzy hazy look to it.  Then our vet said 'She has bone cancer and it's eaten away one of her vertebrae... she's in a lot of pain".  My heart sunk.  She was in pain.. we had no idea. 

The bone cancer struck quickly.  Like I said it was only very soon after bringing the baby home that Sadie slowly stopped jumping up on things, but we didn't think it could have anything to do with the other problems.  The cancer took over so much of the vertebrae her spinal cord and nerves were damaged.  This is why her walk was off, tail fell funny, and she no longer had control over her bladder or bowels.  She didn't mean to be peeing or pooing all over.. it just was coming out of her.  The X-ray also showed her stomach was empty.. She hadn't eaten in 24 hours.  We only had a few days left.  I was given 4 days worth of morphine to give her and told we should schedule to bring her back Friday or Saturday to put her down because she was just in too much pain. 

I will say Morphine is a cruel trick of a drug.  While on the morphine it was like we had a kitten version of Sadie.  She ran, jumped, and seemed to be almost how she was before.  She looked absolutely fine.  How could she possibly be in pain.  It wasn't until I saw her in her litter box trying to pee with nothing coming out when I knew the vet was right.  We had to say goodbye.   

We gave her as much love as you could possibly give the last few days.  She had tuna everyday, wet cat food, tons of kitty treats, ice cream, catnip, toys, love, love, love and more love.  Her last night we got non-toxic ink and decorated white picture frames with her paw prints so that we could put a picture of her in it to remember her.  We hugged, kissed, loved, and cried over her.  We told her we loved her and how much we would miss her.  We went back and forth over.. do we really have to do this.. is she really in pain... yes.. this is the right thing to do. 

The day before taking her in I knew I needed to do as much cleaning as I possibly could while she was still around.  I knew I wouldn't be able to do it after she was gone without having some type of breakdown.  I vacuumed her room, cleaned out her litter box, and picked up any and all litter box pellets I saw anywhere in the house so as not to set off a breakdown later on.

On Saturday we both took her in.  Paid the bill first (super awkward).  Signed the papers.  Told her we loved her and would always love her and finally released her pain. 

We buried her in the backyard in a corner where we have a new plum tree growing.  She will be safe there.  We put some of my pink hello kitty fleece down under her and added her toy wand she loved, bunny toy, and catnip ball.  I like to think she is playing with them on the other side of the rainbow bridge.  Or maybe she's running around with past animals I lost in my childhood.  For those she left behind we will go on, but always miss her.  I still expect her to be at the top of the stairs every time I get ready to go up.  I can't go in her room without crying, and expect to hear her meowing through the day.  Our hearts are heavy, but it helps knowing she is in a better place. 

Vet

Today I took our cat Sadie in to the vet for a follow up apt.  She's been having frequent UTI's this last year and has recently been showing signs of possibly having Hpyerthyroidism.  At the last visit they asked us to come back in 2 weeks to do a blood draw and recheck weight.  Today was that day.  I tricked her into the cat carrier and took her in crying bloody murder the whole drive in.  She met with the vampires in the back and came back draped over the shoulder of the vet tech that adores our Newfoundlands Kahlua and Jewels.  I remembered to ask about getting heartworm for the dogs and found out we are terrible owners and Jewels was due last November... OOps... A plan was hatched to get both dogs on the same schedule and to bring them in sometime in the next month.  This will make it easier on us and also because since Kahlua's annual is in August... I know 8 month pregnant me won't be wanting to take a 140 pound dog in at that time.  So equal schedules it is!  At the front desk the vet tech asked the scheduler to just book us for the whole day so she could just sit in a room of newfies all day and be in heaven!  We joked and had fun when a woman walked in.  I looked over expecting to check out what type of dog she was bringing in but saw no dog. I immediately thought "oh she must be picking up an early morning drop off"... but that's impossible because it WAS early morning.  Before anyone could say anything she dropped to the ground.  Hands in her face... crying.  I realized then that she was not there to pick her fur love up.. something bad happened.  I first thought "Oh no.. her dog was hit by a car" and prayed I wasn't about to see something awful come in.  I heard her somehow get out "I just can't do it.. I can't take him out of the car."  Now I realized why she was here... today was her day... the day all of us pet owners dread.  At this point the receptionist was on her feet helping her up and to a bench, vet techs were running out from the backroom realizing the situation and our vet was already hugging the woman consoling her as best she could.  Two of the vet techs rushed out to her car and in that moment I realized this was me anywhere from now through the next 3-4 years.  This is not just me, but anyone who welcomes a furry lovie into their life one day has to make the decision to let them go.  That there either is nothing more you can do, that they are in too much pain, or it's just the right thing to do and today was her terrible, awful, decision day.  I felt like I was intruding on her day/moment/life and felt myself wanting to just cry with her so I quickly finished paying got all my stuff and snuck Sadie out as fast as I could.  My goal was to get out of the parking lot before I saw the dog.  I knew if I saw the dog or whatever condition he was in I'd be crying with her.  As we got to the car I could see the vet techs at her car with each backdoor open working on getting her dog out.  I assumed it was a dog, but I guess it really could have been any animal, but a dog he was.  He emerged as I got into my car.  He looked to be at least 10-12 and some type of German Shepard mix.  Happy, skinny, grey muzzled and going all grey and walking himself in for the last time.  That's when I lost it.  That was the hard part... seeing that 'happy dog smile' and not look in pain when I'm sure he's in pain, but putting on his happy doggie face for the world.   Kahlua has been on borrowed time for years now because of her bad bones.  I can remember when the option to put her down after her first birthday was on the table.  "She's going to be expensive" I can hear someone say... "She'll be on anti inflamatories and supplements for life".. "We can do surgery, but there are no guarantees it'll last since she's so young and her frame is so big"... We already have the money set aside for if and when we will have to do the other leg.  My worst fear is having to put her down before she's old.. before she even has the chance to go grey.  No one is ever ready for the day they have to make the decision that woman made today.  My heart breaks for her today.  There is never anything that can be said or done to ease the pain of losing a best friend, but today I was glad to see how wonderful and helpful my vet staff can be.  I sometimes get angry that things cost so much at the vet, but after today I think I'd pay any amount of money to have that staff at my side when it's our turn.  I'll hug my fur loves a little tighter today and give them some extra treats and love and remember that our time with them is limited, but never forgotten. 

It's been .... awhile!

So, it's been a bit since I last posted on here.  Today I had so many things going on in my head I just had to let it out somewhere!!!!  Sometimes I think Facebook is just NOT the place for me to bitch.. so.. I'll do it here!  I do have exciting news since the last time I blogged.  I'm pregnant!!!  Currently 14 weeks and super excited to have moved into the second trimester!  The first few weeks were a whirlwind.  We found out right before New Years and were just so excited!  I remember at the New Years Party we went to I asked if I could have a non-alcoholic margarita and immediately regretted it because that was definitely not the slyest move in my book.  Kevin told his friends that were at the party and all I had to do was look across the room at his giddy guilty face to KNOW he told them.  I couldn't be too mad though because we really were just oh so excited!  After the excitement started to settle and reality started kicking in that we're having a baby and need to get some stuff finished up at home is right around when the nausea started creeping in.  Morning sickness/all day sickness sure is interesting.  I always used to say I'd never had morning sickness when I got pregnant because I already dealt with it every morning.  Usually my blood sugar is super low in the morning and I feel pretty crappy, but I was definitely wrong.  Pregnancy morning sickness is a whole different icky feeling.  I'm happy to report moving into week 14 now most of it is starting to fade away and with the help of my anti nausea meds my appetite is BACK with a vengeance!    I think about mid January we had my friend Kelly take some awesome pictures of us to eventually put on Facebook. I really wanted to wait until the 12 week mark.  I had a pregnancy loss last fall super early and have sort of been on edge to make sure everything is going right and a bit timid to let too many know before we were in the clear. 

Yesterday it snowed like crazy in the evening!  We went from absolutely nothing to at least 3-4 inches in just hours!!  Kevin's classes were cancelled and we were super glad because just his drive home from work was awful and his car looked dreadful by the time it made it into the garage!  He said it was an awful drive!  Kahlua on the other hand was soooooooooooooooo excited!  She LOVES snow and was out eating it at any and all opportunities!  Little Jewels isn't as crazy about the snow.  She's 8 and I think she's outgrown any fun that can come from playing in the snow.  She ate a little after seeing Kahlua chow down, but sadly it all came back up after she got in the house.  Poor old girl, her tummy just doesn't like it! 

So, the rant I was thinking about today..  Ok, so.. I have a confession.  I don't wear makeup.  Like... ever.. for any reason.  I used to, but I just don't anymore.  I think it makes my face feel heavy, it smells, gives me a headache, makes my face feel greasy, and gross.  In the past I've sold Arbonne, AND Mary Kay and I don't like any of it.  I bought myself Bare Minerals to wear for my wedding because everyone kept saying "oh you'll love it.. just try it".. and I hate to say it, but I was not sold.  Don't like it.  Nothing special or awesome about it.  Not impressed.  I'm most happy to wear some lip gloss and go.  My husband doesn't even like me in makeup.  Makes life easy!  :)  Also, I don't wash my face.  You know like on a daily basis.  Don't do it and am more than happy with my skin.  I think it's all a ploy to suck up your money.  I remember when I sold Arbonne there was an entire 6 step process of applying their serum and lotions.  It was a load of crock looking back.  There is no gold in the bottles that you are applying, it's not better than anything you could buy at a grocery store.  It's not even like it's organic.  Just a money pit.  I will admit I use Burts Bees face cleanser in the shower occasionally, but NOT everyday.  I think sometimes people think I'm crazy.  When I tell someone I don't wear makeup I get odd looks like "what.. how can you NOT" and I want to yell back "WHY should I HAVE to?"

 

I don't know if I've posted it on here, but I have also opened an Etsy shop!!!!!  I've been making cutesy Owls, shell picture frames, burp cloths, and soon I will add some Mood Monsters for your desk at work!!!  Can't wait!!!  Here are some pics!!!

 

 

Woohooo!!!  Well I'm off for now!  I've also got a purple mood monster to finish for someone so maybe you'll see it on here or my Etsy shop soon!!!





Home at last!

Yesterday we adopted a lovely little Newfoundland to join our family!  She is 6 years old and much smaller than Kahlua.  She is one of the South Central Newfoundland's Clubs rescue dogs.  We first met her at a Christmas tree farm in early December and I fell in love! It took a little while to get her, but she was well worth the weight.  As many people know our current 3 year old Newfie Kahlua is a big girl!  She's often mistaken for a male newfie because of how tall and big she is, but this new girl is much smaller.  While Kahlua weighs in at 140 pounds our new Julie (Jewels) is only about 85 pounds!  When she was rescued she was very underweight and I think she could still gain about 5 pounds, but we will see what the vet says.  We drove 3 hours south to get her and she and Kahlua slept in the back of the car the whole drive home!  Since arriving home it's clear she doesn't know many commands, but I think Kahlua is serving as a great role model as we are remaining patient with her.   Her is a picture I took of them last night.  I am sure I will have many updates to come!!!

HELLOO

Haven't posted in awhile!!! Planning a wedding and been busy, but now that I have remembered my password I'll go ponder a new blog to post about.

Couch Potato

So this week I've been noticing Kahlua getting on the couch much more often than normal. Yesterday I went on a long walk with a friend and when we walked back into the house Kahlua was comfortably laying on the couch. Last night while I was getting ready for bed I walked through the kitchen and looked into the living room to see where she was.. and there she was again.. on the couch. Actually, while I'm writing this RIGHT now.. I'm sitting on the floor typing and take a guess where she is.. You got it! ON THE COUCH! lol. I am not sure if it's because it's so fluffy or what, but she's NEVER been this interested in the couch. I think she thinks it's her bed! I've never had a bed for her becuase she usually won't lay on things. She seems to really like anything as close to the ground or tile as she can get. Looks amazingly comfortable here!

BUTTERFLY FLOWERS!

What a summer! I've been so busy I haven't even had time to do much updating on here! I have some fun pics to share though!! Last weekend I bought some summer flowers to put around the house. I got hydrangea's to put in the front of the house and some other plants that are suposed to attract butterflies. Amanda came over to help me plant the flowers and helped take fun pictures!!! We had to dig this crappy ground cover up to put the hydrangea's. They had prickly thorns on them and it was NOT fun!

Next I planted these 'butterfly attracting flowers'. I don't remember what they are called because I put the card in the ground with them. At Lowes (where I got them) there were TONS of butterflies all over them! I've noticed them all over the neighborhood now that I have them!

I also bought two 'Nanho Purple Butterfly Bushes'. These things are AWESOME! There were at least 5 butterflies sitting on them WHILE I was moving them around the house trying to figure out where to put them. My favorite was this yellow butterfly you see below. I cannot WAIT for next summer to see the butterfly bushes in full force!! CAN'T WAIT!!!

Kahlua helped of course! She layed on the front porch and then tested the water to make sure it was good enough for the flowers!